I was center stage in a band of no chords with no discernible semblance of music marching noisily in one direction along a dirt road beneath umbrellas enough to cover the ground all around in shadow except for those times when the holders of those burdens forgot their duties and were off to chat with the shop owners along our route…. Not to mention the fireworks that kept the yapping dogs at bay.
Letter to the Editor…..Should I move back home? …….. January, 2017
Suddenly I am in a dilemma ….. Should I move back home…. should I be off and running back to the America that is going to be great again….?
I’ve lived in the Land of Smiles for years and have become accustomed to their different way but I believe I still have a yearning to mingle with my roots and perhaps play around a bit on a different field….
I could move back in a wink but I have one major concern. Maybe you can help me… or maybe another editor from your office can help me…..
Do they pole dance in the States?
Big Yai Bob of Bon-nok
Dear Big Yai Bob,
You have surprised us with your intentions… It’s almost as if you are moving back with the same amount of poor planning you used to move here in the first place… Even the thought of you leaving your adopted home behind in order to re-enter the hodgepodge of the American continent on a political promise, where laws are haphazardly enforced and zoning laws are most conservative. It has us a bit baffled, for sure, but we will respond by keeping to your main concern…. the Pole Dancer. Primarily because we enjoy talking about pole dancing more than we like to talk about poor planning…..
To that end, we sent four of our editors on a tour of the U.S. to research Pole dancing on American soil. They traveled the Nation and have now reported with thesis in hand…. We have our conclusion.
It must have been a trip indeed. All four bunked in motels that advertised rooms for six when they barely provided room for one…. But we have a dedicated crew and they adapted. They ate plastic sandwiches and plastic fries served in plastic restaurants that are strewn about in every nook and cranny throughout that huge landscape. Regardless, they did return with a report…. and that is what counts.
We Editors have discussed the report and have unanimously decided we just don’t know what you will find in the way of pole dancing in the States…. but being confused has never stopped us from proffering an opinion. Read on.
When pressed, our research team remembered seeing any number of hefty women milling about restaurants and petrol stations throughout their tour. These ladies always had a sandwich in one hand and a poodle held taunt at the end of an imitation red leather leash in the other…
For the sake of this report, they tried to imagine those women as pole dancers, however, that was beyond their job description…. They abandoned further research and have returned home…
In conclusion, we have decided you just need another night out in the Bon-Nok where you can once again be told how sexy you are and be made to believe all decisions are up to you.
Most grateful you called on Us