Late December 2014/2557 Issue 34
All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2014
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.
Life is rather hard to do by yourself. You always need someone to tell you when you missed a belt loop.
If the woman you are with is just so absolutely beautiful that you can’t believe your luck… you shouldn’t.
National Geographic is my favorite. They were my favorite when I was a kid because the magazine was mostly photos and not so much text… Then of course, they added color. Then they went into the movie business. The movies have made reporting on nature even better. Now the magazine has a real problem…. It seems that there are too many tourists on site in Africa…. It’s like trying to drive through Disney World to get to the wild animals… how do you film forty-thousand wildebeests crossing a river ahead of the crocodiles without filming tourist in Tilley hats on the far side taking bets …. It’s unfair
The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted… Monday has become The Irish Clock…and on Friday it is The Good Corner or The T-Bar restaurant at 10:00am
The women have been coming to these Brunches for a while… they gather their own group at our breakfast venue and then walk off to a restaurant around the corner that serves their kind of food. It is our opinion that the ladies really enjoy getting together for these brunches… Bring your lady along.(They compare notes and then all hell will break out when you get home.)
I’ve got a real set up. I imagine a lot of the farangs you know would be envious… I live with my Thai wife and her brother in Thailand for six months out of the year before I scoot back to my home country in time for the delightful spring and summer months. Then I beat a hasty retreat back here six months later when it turns cold at home… It is always nice to get back to Thailand and the warm embrace of my wife who I miss so much. Am I lucky or what?
I only have one problem and maybe you can help. It is my ex’s home in the old country that I return and it is actually to a small bedroom in the back that I settle… The room is nice and cozy and it will do until I find a way to improve my fortunes and I can find a place of my own. Until then I have a problem…. My ex-wife is occupied with a much younger boyfriend and I must say I can hear their social interaction throughout the night. Their racket and thrashing about are a tremendous hazard to a restful night of sleep for me. Do you have any suggestions I can follow?
It is good you cut short your letter of complaint before we lost our concentration. We are easily distracted and were about to ask for a more descriptive accounting of your ex’s “racket and thrashing about.” regardless, we have a solution. Read on.
It sounds like you are in a bit of a pickle and short of funds on both ends of your semiannual trek. Your account of your sparse accommodations in the old home leaves us to wonder what you have provided for your wife and her brother in the way of luxuries back here in the land of Smiles.
To that end the editorial staff took an unsolicited midnight ride out to your village last night. Our purpose was to determine just how well, if at all, your wife and her “brother” are managing in your absence. A public service we provide sometimes.
We would be amiss if we didn’t now report that we heard what must be similar sounds to what you described in your letter as “their racket and thrashing about” coming from your home here in the village, however, and this may just be a cultural thing; we believe the sounds we recorded last night are more in line with unbridled ravenous sex than mere social interaction…. Of course we don’t know for sure because we were at a disadvantage trying to peep through the windows and fighting off the Soi dogs at the same time.
You might want to render your appreciation for travel and get back with us.
Stop by the office upon your return. We would love to play our copyrighted recordings to you over a cup of coffee….
The Editorial Staff…
Why do all the female TV anchors wear skimpy skirts?
Okay I understand being a good looker…. That seems to be a prerequisite. A woman has to be good looking in order to be a TV anchor…and I buy into the short skirts but I don’t buy into the news and short skirt combo at the same time. How are you supposed to remember the news when all you can think about is getting a peep up one of those skimpy skirts?
I practically missed the first gulf war waiting for a peek.
Have you seen what I’m talking about…. It takes a lot of work to concentrate on the news when you are wondering if one of those gals is going to uncross her legs and give all of us in TV land a view… Remember Sharon Stone… I do but I can’t remember a word she said.
I live overseas. My only access to Walmart is through photos of goofy looking Walmart shoppers posted on Face Book….. I’m worried. The photos make it look as though all Walmart stores are filled wall to wall with mangy people masquerading as shoppers. I can’t get my head around that.
I’m having a hard time imagining shoppers showing up in a Walmart, in maybe, Columbia, South Carolina just before Christmas, dressed like Halloween or in Lincoln, Nebraska wearing short shorts, sans underpants in February…
If people showed up in Columbia, South Carolina dressed the least little bit goofy the good folks in Columbia would most likely send them off to church and if some zany folks showed in a Nebraska Walmart dressed like retards without underwear those good folks in Nebraska just might hunt those goofs down with long rifles…
That’s why I don’t believe people in isolated areas are that goofy…. I bet most of the weird shoppers photographed were spotted in heavily populated States like California, Nevada or New York. I also believe that is where zombies come from.
That’s my hypothesis from this side of the Pacific. I could be wrong.
Why can’t you test drive a house
You can test drive a car or a motorcycle but you can’t test drive a house. A house is often the largest investment you’ll ever make. Why can’t you test drive it? Like, move in for a few days… use the beds, air conditioners, check for creaky stairways and such. Wouldn’t that be a good idea?
You can test drive a motorcycle by taking it around the block. You can test drive a car by driving through the city and back to the store. Why can’t you move into a house for a few days? Move in on Monday morning and stay until Friday evening? If you are still in the house on Friday the owner can throw in a little bonus… maybe beer from the refrigerator.
It wouldn’t work because I have friends who would go from one house test drive to another house test drive each week. They wouldn’t have any intentions of buying. Their goal would be to live free which is none of my business.
My only complaint would be not knowing where my friends are on any given Friday night so I can get my free beer.
The Editor’s unabashed sales pitch…. With incredible news:
V olume I,II, III and IV are now available in paperback… that’s right, you’re not limited to email downloads. The real books are available… You can actually hold these suckers and turn the pages. Sales have gone through the roof since the hard copies have been made available… well, actually that is a thatched roof about four feet off the ground… but a roof just the same..
This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books published via booksmango.com The books are titled: Up To You: Volume I, II, III & IV.
The books are available online for email download or paperback from any bookstore in the world…
I go to Amazon when I want to drool over my own accomplishments and type in… Al Reynolds: Up To You … Some people are amazed. Not all people, but some.
Nobody will know you bought one… that’s just between you and me.
Thanks for the visit…..