Early November 2014/2557 Issue 32
All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2014
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.
First of all…. Means what? “First of all” is a preamble to nothing. “First of all” is a doorway to a makeup world of rhetoric. A trap! “First of all” is where you get sucked into listening to someone’s next forty words. “First of all” is the new generation “This ain’t no lie.”
The American fast food industry employs 10,600,000 people…. That’s pretty good …. At least we have one industry that makes its’ product in the USA and sells its’ product in the USA and employs a lot of people.
Where’s my sell by date? Have I almost expired?
The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted… Monday it is either the Book House or Nobi’s (whoops, new owner, new name…) whichever suits…The Good Corner on Friday at 10:00am.
The women have been coming to these Brunches for a while… they gather their own group at our breakfast venue and then walk off to a restaurant around the corner that serves their kind of food. It is our opinion that the ladies really enjoy getting together for these brunches… Bring your lady along.
I need your advice post haste. I am most concerned.
My wife had her fiftieth birthday party last night and I must say it was real….excuse the American term here… but it was a real “Wing-Ding” of a party. A party of all parties but that is not what this letter is about.
After everyone had gone home and we had sealed the house I went into the bed room to bestow on my wife the present of presents and that is when I was most profoundly gob smacked with her response. Recovery is still underway as I write this letter.
My wife said she is over fifty now and will no longer administer to my physical needs…. That’s what she said before pulling the cover over her head and casting off into sleep. Talk about being gob smacked just talking about it.… Is this a Thai thing? What am I to do?
Only a few of the editorial staff are married and I am hard pressed to imagine that any of those who are married have given any thought to the idea of their brides reaching thirty let alone fifty years of age.
We can only adlib here and hope we say something that is comforting and will keep you buying our paper. Until then we suggest you take a page from the play book and get yourself a cold shower… or if you are so inclined and have a bent towards the wild side of life may we suggest a trip off the beaten path to establish closer ties with those ladies whose life experiences have until recently included the wearing of Mickey Mouse adorned shoes and to carrying those cute little pink Minnie Mouse purses.
Reincarnation is probably no big deal…. You die and then you recycle… doesn’t sound hard… I never worried about it until I started watching National Geographic and learned that there are a lot of choices for that trip back… sometimes I think it would be safe to come back as an insect… Insects generally have short lives but so what? Another cycle and I’ll be on my way back as something else….
For a while I wanted to be a hippopotamus. They are so big that just about nothing bothers them. They get to lie about and wade in water all day and then carouse at night to feed. Not a bad life… So why are they so mean… Why don’t they count their blessing and chill?
I hate to say this but they can’t chill because they are always pooping in their bath water. How would you feel with a life style like that… My wife farts a lot and that is hard enough but at least she is good humored about it. Not hippos, they take that shit seriously.
What about Tattoo etiquette. When talking to a person with Tattoos are you required to look them in the eye or can your eyes drift around to read their tats…?
Four hundred million years.
That’s what the man on TV said the other night. I had my eyes glued to the National Geographic channel when the man inside the screen said sharks are four hundred million years old. Come on… Four hundred million years…. Grab your ankles.
Man has only been around for about forty thousand years and look how much he has changed. We were a bunch of runts back then but now we are drinking cow’s milk and eating genetically engineered wheat, corn and barely. We have grown. Our teeth don’t rot. We live longer…. We have changed a lot in only forty thousand years. We stand taller and run faster. So why do we let anyone get away with showing us a picture of a shark and telling us that this very shark has been swimming around unchanged for forty million years…. That doesn’t compute.
Talking Heads: I’m kinda tired of them
The first talking head was the news guy. He would sit in front of the camera reading the news… if we were lucky he broke away for a news clip or another talking head on the scene somewhere… Then that wasn’t good enough…
The Networks needed two talking heads to share the reading…. And then some producer must have thought we in TV land were really bored or totally lacking in social graces so the networks started inviting prominent people into the studio to be contributing talking heads… We must have appeared to be even more bored so the networks encouraged all the talking heads to talk at once… something my mom would have never allowed around the dinner table…
Maybe the guests are paid by the word…. The more incomprehensible the better…
The Editor’s unabashed sales pitch
This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books published by Books Mango (Bangkok Books)… The books are titled: Up To You Volume I, II, III & IV.
(Volume IV is a cheap come on with fifteen cartoons..) All the other high dollar Volumes are endowed with fifty cartoons.
The books are available online for email download from any bookstore in the world… (That is impressive)
Go to your favorite online bookstore (like Amazon) and type in… Al Reynolds: Up To You and see what happens… you may have to type “cartoons” or” Adult cartoons or “Sleazy cartoons…” The books are available only from email downloads…. (Nobody will know you bought one… that’s just between you and me.)
Thanks for the visit…..