Udon Thai Expats Club

Udon Thani, Thailand

Almost Daily Dispatch Issue 24

March 28, 2016 by Al Reynolds

CaptureBeginning of June… or there about 2014/2557                              Issue 24

Editor’s Note: My wife thinks I am deaf. Last night she hollered from the living room to tell me she had just messed up the chinera…. In one of my helpful moods I asked her to tell me what she had been doing with the chinera so I could figure out what she was talking about. Instead she went into one of those impatient modes and came into my room and got real close to my ear and whispered with emphasis, “Chinera, I messed up the Chinera”.

“What?” I said.

She said with more emphasis, “You deaf, I said Chinera!”

I said, “Camera?”

She said, “yes, Chinera.” And walked off thinking she had proven me deaf.

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Brunch

Monday its’ Nobi’s at 10:00am, the Chef’s Table on Wednesday at 10:00am and the Blue Orchids on Friday at 10:00am.

So far we have solved none of the world’s problems but we are working on it… Join us if you can. We do know what happened to Flight 370.

All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2014

Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about.

Capture1Dear Sirs,

I read with amusement an article that says Thailand is forth when it comes to amount of booze consumed…. How can this be…? Who did the counting and how was the counting done?

Sincerely

Sid Sidelocke

Dear Sid,

You have peaked our curiosity for sure, Sid. We immediately set about researching for the information we now disseminate.

In a country where most of the natives seem to enjoy the brew of their making and knowing that their volume of drink can’t be tallied without great effort, it surely must mean that the count was made from another source. If one were to count the beer consumed by farangs, over ice or otherwise, then perhaps we have your answer and know why Thailand is among the top four.

This country is overrun with expats and tourist alike who are notoriously famous for drinking, fornicating and not learning a word of Thai… all at the same time.

By counting their empties our office has determined that it is perhaps the Expat who has boosted Thailand’s standings so close to the top that it can be compared with the likes of Russia… We have men in the field as we speak….

Cheers

The Editor

Capture2

 

Security Based Logic

In a country where everything seems to be locked up and security is a number one paranoia I’m amazed how often my wife can lose her keys in an instant. I understand locking gates and doors is rather new to most folk around here and it wasn’t but just a few years ago when valuables were hidden away in that secret vault between the bed boards (whoops, I’ve given away the national secret.) Well, anyway, everything was hidden and there was no need to lock anything … Now there is.

So the country has gone to lock and key. But it is just too easy for my wife to forget what she did with the key from the time she locked something thru to the moment the key should have been returned to her purse or pocket.

Rather than nag upwind I chose to battle this problem with common sense. Not something that is appreciated in the land of Smiles. But I went out on a limb anyway. I bought her some of those little tabs that give off a noise when they are activated by your cell phone. I figured I had the problem licked but that didn’t work well because she is always forgetting where she left the cell…

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Check me out

Buying mail order pocket watches from Mr. Sears and his partner Mr. Roebuck is what launched the Sears and Roebuck mail order business back in 1893. In a few years the company that started by selling pocket watches to farmers soon had sales that surpassed the Pentagon’s annual expenditures… that is saying a lot… But now the Sears & Roebuck Retail stores have lost their luster and faded as well as the need for men to lug around a wrist watch… Who needs a watch today when an accurate chronometer is embedded in your cell phone, computer, your car dash, your GPS and just about everywhere else you can imagine.

The wrist is where men show off their diamonds and gold now. Learning what time it is by looking to your wrist has become secondary to having a place to wear jewelry. Next men will be powdering their noses.

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Awards Night

Isn’t it time for the Academy Awards again…. Oscar night! Maybe it isn’t the Academy night I’m thinking about…. Maybe it is the Grammy Awards night… or is it Emmy night or perhaps the Graduate Students night… GSA for short… What night is it?

Who makes all this stuff up? We have more Awards nights than we have programming… I’m thinking we need an Oscar night for the best Awards night.

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Radical This

When I was a kid the most radical thing you could do with your body was to be a gymnast. At that sport you could propel yourself on one of those high bars and actually send yourself upside down into the air before doing a flip and a dismounting… That was radical and as far as any of us were concerned that was the extreme end of the envelope.

Today kids propel themselves up to forty feet off the ground and do backward flips with their two hundred pound motor bikes. The real crazy kids do this in the winter with their snowmobiles…

So where is the envelope?

The End………………..Thanks for listening.

 

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Filed Under: Almost Daily Dispatch

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