April 2 or there about 2014/2557 Issue 21
Editor’s Note: We have no idea where our readership has gone. We have been out and about catching up on other issues… You readers are on your own… A bit cavalier, for sure but the world is falling down around our ears and at times like this we must dive for cover…
The world has become a bit of a frightening place to live. In the States the new buzz word is the electrical grid….” Don’t let the bad guys knock out our electrical grid…” Where I grew up that would be bad. Without electricity our ice cream would melt… all of it. Without electricity we would have to open our windows to fresh air. We would have to crank our own TV for FOX/NEWS. Our world would come to a screeching halt…
Now walk out onto any Thai farmer’s rice field and get his attention for a minute. He won’t mind the distraction…. Ask him how an attack on his electrical grid will alter his life style…. Take a camera… this is going to be precious.
Udon Expats are throwing some serious money around… we have been eating breakfast out three times a week…. Western, mostly.
Monday its’ Nobi’s at 10:00am, the Chef’s Table on Wednesday at 10:00am and the Blue Orchids on Friday at 10:00am.
So far we have solved none of the world’s problems but we are working on it… Join us if you can.
I just returned from my buddy’s engagement party and I’m a bit dizzy. My buddy had been asked for a substantial amount of cash and ten Baht of gold as a dowry, which until today I thought was less than a dollar… but no way! To my surprise ten Baht of gold is a unit of measure and not even comparable to bus fare like I thought. It’s a lot more and that is for sure! I had been thinking about getting married until I witnessed this. Anyway, that is not my question.
Maybe if I describe my discomfort you can advise me… While sitting cross legged in the middle of the party with all the attention of the world on this lovely couple my buddy had to drape each necklace around his fiancés neck and each bracelet around his fiancées wrists….until he had all ten Baht weighing his bride down. She couldn’t move afterward. Should I feel sorry for her… what kind of health problems can you imagine she will be made to endure when trying to clean house wearing all that metal.
Limpid Egret Frostmoore III
Your given name, Limpid (not to mention; Egret) threw us momentarily. We were most grievously in error thinking you are a London Shadwell having been burdened with such a moniker and wondered why the confusion in reference to weights and measure. We know that no Brit worth his salt, commoner or otherwise would be advanced beyond primary education without a complete knowledge of his tables… Therefore we suspect you are American and are still driving on the wrong side… Henceforth we will talk down to you.
Being American you have missed the point. The dowry and its heavy burden of gold is an expression of commitment that the man shows the family of his intended… Forking out big bucks is a way for the groom to assure the bride’s family that he has good intentions. Or perhaps, as some historians report, the gold is security toward that day when misfortune may visit this love nest and wreck havoc… Theoretically, at a time like that the Mrs. will be able to escape the bonds of her misfortune for a move into more pleasant circumstances with the aid of her most appreciated dowry… At a time like that she will be able to use her gold reserve when perhaps paper money will not suffice… Or perhaps she will simply use her gold to put on a big face whilst partaking of sticky rice around the neighborhood. Either way you can bet a girl that rich will never be caught cleaning the house.
Ferrari vs. Us
By Tommy Tonsil
It has been written by some of those people who write about such things that the first hour a man owns a Ferrari is the most exciting hour of his life but the second hour is the worst hour of his life. It is reported that the excitement of so much engine wears off in an hour after the owner starts looking for those creature comforts he is most accustomed. Like nice suspension, comfortable seats, air conditioning and possibly a sedate cruising speed. The second hour is the realization that this monster must be driven home without power steering. It’s easy to lose that romantic feeling so far from home.
By Larry Vilipend
Playing in the street is how we grew up. That’s where we played ball by day and kick the can at night. Later that’s where we were when we learned how to talk girls into sharing their lovelies. I don’t know how dangerous it was to play in the street but that’s what we did and most of us survived. We got honked at from time to time but no one that we knew got run over and if I remember correctly we never lost a ball to the street.
I get the warm and fuzzes any time I try to walk across a street in Udon.
Come and get it while it is hot.
By Paul Payneful
I have those fond memories of Mother preparing dinner with a goal of serving all the dishes hot and at the same time. I remember Mom saying as she whipped through the kitchen door into the dining room with that big crock of hot mashed potatoes, “Come and get it while it is hot “ That seemed to be the number one goal; to get everything on the table at the same time while all the dishes were still too hot to handle.
I have watched Thai cooking in my home for twenty years and I imagine if you have only watched your lady cook but one time we both share a like moment of wonderment. We could almost be across the fence neighbors with our shared knowledge.
Here cooking is different, first, all the food for the night is taken out of the motor cycle baggage locker and placed on the floor in one big pile. Then everything destined to be cooked is chopped, thrown into a hot wok and cooked at jet speed. After a long minute that food is scooped into a dish and set aside while the little lady starts phase two: The leisurely preparing of all the raw stuff. The stubborn goal here is to serve everything at room temperature in a disarray of order and timeliness. They are always spot on.
Why Do People Wear Tuxedo’s to Blood Sports
By Freddy Froth; Sports Reporter
Have you seen it lately, or have you not noticed? People dress up to watch other people beat other people senseless inside a cage. That’s the big thing now. Two men get inside a chain link fence and pound the daylights out of each other while the spectators on the front row stand no more than a blood splat away yelling and screaming encouragement to one or the other fighter. The ticket holders are dressed in Tuxedo’s or in the case of their ladies…, like foxes.
When I think of blood sport I think of wooden bleachers in the back forty of some farm with torch light instead of klieg lighting. Dogs hollowing somewhere. Maybe a roof over their heads if the weather is threatening. But no fight should be held in the middle of an air conditioned stadium where the best views are on the giant screen hanging only a few feet above the real action on the mats below. It’s a good thing that the only people who are close enough to be bled on are the folks silly enough to wear tuxedos to a blood sport.