July 2015/2558 Issue 41
All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2015
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.
Brunch Schedule
Monday brunch is The Celtic Yard (old Nubi’s)) at 10:00am
The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted…
T-Bar Restaurant is the place for Friday brunch at 10:00am….
The Good Corner Restaurant is a hit or miss location on Friday dependent on the heat and traffic noise…. If no one shows by 10:00am they might be found on the 3rd or 4th floor of the air conditioned Central Mall…
Your lady is welcome…the ladies meet with us before separating into their own
group…Dangerous for sure but it works….
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Curbs and sidewalks have their own rules in the Land of Smiles.
At first this bothered me… I always had to be extra cautious when walking even ten feet this way or that way on any sidewalk. Now I have gotten used to it. I feel safer simply because I have become more alert to my surroundings….
I could go on an African Safari now and not once be surprised by a lion, buffalo or
Gazelle attack…. I’m that alert.
Dear Editors,
I need you fellows to do a little research while you’re just sitting around on your hands…
I’m returning to the land of smiles after somewhat of a delay. It has been forty years since I perused the streets of Bangkok and Pattaya looking for those lovelies that I bedded with much frolic. I could tell you stories for sure… but, that is for another time.
While making plans for my return or should I say my rekindled conquests I have discovered what appears to be a chink in the armor… Some of my old friends have told me that things there are not what they used to be.
For instance, some of my long time and most trusted friends have told me of times when their chosen flower of the evening has done no more than to take shallow breaths through pouty lips on a face that stared straight at the ceiling with nary a blink…And that I am told, most often happens at the time of agreement to do those things that should be emotionally charged… all the way to that final moment when you have no more to give and the night is done…
At times, my friends have reported that they had been confused and thought their slumbering dates had actually died straight away on the sheets whilst they were most hard at work bringing everything to life with their skills honed from years of most diligent practice.
Please tell me it isn’t so. I’m about to plunk down a handsome price for my nostalgic trip back and I am expecting better than what has been reported… I’m
looking for an ambitious filly who will at least flail a bit under my tutelage and most assuredly give off some noise when appropriate…. Are those days gone?
Sincerely
Frank Fortuitous
Dear Frank,
We can see into this as easily as a bright sailor can celebrate tightening of the breezes against new sail…. We are here to set you right by the wind and perhaps adjust your recalcitrant bearings to something more realistic. May we elaborate?
Our office, like so many other farang businesses in the land of smiles is marginal at best so you can be assured we are located in an area of low rent. Coincidently we are just across the street from those recalcitrant memories that seem to be waddling through your brain like so much heavy traffic going your way.
From our office window we have seen more of the seedy side of town than poor Oliver Twist so you can imagine we are right where we need to be for this research….Actually we believe most of the research has been done and we can form a hypothesis as we speak with nary a burden to our thought process.
For this report we have worked backwards and a bit slanted. We started with the present and have counted back forty years ticking off each year as we have traveled back. It is almost like we have gathered information without first leaving our seat or having allowed our cup of Joe to have cooled in the slightest.
We first imagined your monogrammed leather belt having lost itself in the folds of your older and more rotund stomach and your nose having become this bulbous thing held firmly in place by a tiny network of varicose veins threading here and there from one nostril to the other. A far cry from what you breathed through in your youth those so many years ago.
Where your legs at one time hinted of travel over the plane of a dance floor as a stealth tiger on the hunt, they are now found more often bent and tucked
amongst bar stools most hesitant to cause lift and balance for an old body prone to waddling from toilet to toilet looking for relief of another kind.
We have even carried this torturous investigation out a mite too far and have imagined your ear hairs playing in the wind as the slightest of breezes meander around your mostly bald head. All this while the little vixens of your memory have simply replaced one another and remain in your mind as one and the same…A throbbing memory for sure.
In conclusion is it any wonder that the little squirming memory of so long ago has given itself to pretending to be dead and counting the dusty paddles on the ceiling fan whilst allowing ones host to attend to the rigors of the most basic of instincts in her behalf….
Maybe, if you feel conflicted or perhaps you think our study is a mite trivial one sided and unfair we can, with but a word from you, continue our research. This time by actually discussing our flawed side of this hypothetic with the opposite side of this equation; that petit wild and sassy working girl who we are sure will remind us that our research has fallen short in reporting body odor or nose hairs long enough to braid…. Up to You.
Sincerely
The Editorial Crew
One fellow I know asked if I didn’t think a lot of the men who visit Thailand are abit strange… maybe a bit Eccentric…
That concern is what keeps me looking into a mirror for long stretches every fewdays…
I was born and raised in America back when Spanish was considered a foreign language….
Have you really lived if you haven’t used spell check….
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Essay: A whirlwind of practical thought
Staff writer Dr. I.B. Factoid
Who designs all those international toilet signs or the no smoking signs? You know the signs placed conveniently at eye level and are in silhouette. No explanation needed in any language. At first sight you know which toilet is for the men and which for the women… and that you can’t smoke in either. There are a lot of those signs almost everywhere…Those simple designs do a good job…except for the
two signs in the elevator… Those I have trouble with and I wonder who authorized them… I’m almost ready to think they were designed by a first year engineeringstudent from a country where modern art is appreciated more than you would want to believe.
You’ve seen them… the two little buttons in the elevator just below the floor numbers… one of the buttons opens the doors and the other one closes the doors.
It almost seems as though the buttons were placed there for the impatient among us and not for the common good. The doors are going to open and close on their own anyway… no sign needed.
It gets even worse…The buttons are confusing… At first glance the buttons seem
to be telling you to solve a geometry problem…. For me that takes time. You don’t
need to lose time like that when you are in a hurry to open a door before it is going
to open on its’ own in seconds… You could push the wrong button in your hurry,
close the door and be locked in forever.
The Editor’s Unabashed Sales Pitch
This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books published by Books Mango (Bangkok Books)… The books are titled: Up To You Volume I, II, III & IV.
| (Volume IV is a cheap come on with fifteen cartoons..) All the other high dollar Volumes are endowed with fifty cartoons.
The books are available online for email download from any bookstore in the world… (That is impressive) Go to your favorite online bookstore (like Amazon) and type:… Al Reynolds: Up To You and see what happens… you may have to type “cartoons” or” Adult cartoons or “Sleazy cartoons…” News Flash…. The books are now available in paperback same day |
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Thanks for the visit…..
