Udon Thai Expats Club

Udon Thani, Thailand

Almost Daily Dispatch Issue 39

March 15, 2016 by Al Reynolds

 

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Into May already  2015/2558                                                                                   Issue 39

All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2015
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.

  Brunch Schedule

The Monday breakfast venue is either the Celtic Yard (old Nubi’s)) at 10:00am or The Book House Restaurant at 10:30am.

The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted…

The Good Corner or the T-Bar Restaurant is the place for your breakfast on Friday morning at the usual 10:00am….

Your lady is welcome…the ladies meet up with us before separating for…gee, you guessed it…Papaya salad.

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The World Has Gotten Larger Again.

Last year I received an overnight package from the States. It took thirty days for delivery…. Last week I mailed an airmail letter with expectations that it would reach the United States in a few days… Without asking, as I handed the teller my letter she told me it would take two weeks for my letter to reach the States. It seems that longer delivery times have become the norm for anything leaving Thailand by air or returning by express mail. I’m farther away than ever before.

What does “Way too funny” mean?

 

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Dear Sirs:

I read your newspaper while looking over the shoulder of a friend who is to my embarrassment rather enamored with your low class publication. He suggested I withhold my prejudice until I contact your editorial staff to lay out my problem in hopes you folks will be able to provide comfort where there is no comfort. If you fall short; what have I lost? Nothing. No one will ever know I stepped into such murky water for advice. Not since I was perhaps ten and mildly lost a block from my parents’ Autumn home.

I visited the land of smiles once and it was there that I was disappointed to distraction with the unavailability of primo brand liquor. Must I spell it… p-r-e-m-i- u-m brand liquor? There is none that I found and that is why I inquire here. I’m relying on you to guide me about in the purchase of liquor that is palatable; something that will treat me well when I next visit. How can you help me?

Sincerely
Daffeine Drysdale Quarts, Plummington Way Without

Dear Daffeine,

We are momentarily gob smacked for sure. We can only imagine what it was like at age ten to be a block from home and totally lost… We are surmising as we speak that you have been quit lost all along but we will defray from visiting your pampered past or entertaining our prejudices in order to explore your concerns expressed so eloquently here…

We suggest that any whisky sold here; whether it be a pirated copy of the fine stuff you allude or our own home brand of kerosene tagged with monikers that

suggest more of wild vividly colored birds or red roosters, will taste about the same when either is portioned into the bottom of a tall glass and served diluted in bubbly soda water. Under those conditions there is never the threat of having to taste whiskey in great enough quantity to challenge the taste buds of either a refined palette such as yours or a palette that has most recently dined on dried crickets and sticky rice…

We suggest on your next trip that you just forget about the taste of your fine home grown hooch and delve into all the swill that is available here… but be careful, if you were to lose your way inside one of our bottles and actually enjoy yourself you might awake more than a block away from your parents Autumn home and we of course, will be most curious about your behavior during the previous few hours..

You should venture out sometime.

Sincerely
The most reverend Editor: Scribes

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Now they have a tracking device for your car keys. A few years ago GPS was the big thing. When everyone wanted to assure themselves they were going to the same old grocery store they bought a GPS…In the year 2000 Mitsubishi put an altimeter in their trucks for those people who just had to know on the spot how high above sea level they were… Davey Crocket didn’t have any of that stuff and he found his way… Kit Carson rode a horse back and forth across the United States three times… no GPS there… Maybe it is a good thing he didn’t need a key to start his horse.

 

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The air conditioner has changed the way homes are designed and built in Thailand…. The new homes are enclosed homes equipped with air conditioners. This is good because the heat is so intense on the outside that we stay inside to avoid the heat outside.  We only travel by air conditioned car and we go shopping in an air conditioned mall… We do everything we can to insulate ourselves from the heat….

In Iceland, and I have this from a good source, the houses are insulated and well heated  because the cold is so intense on the outside that the Icelanders stay inside their homes to avoid the cold from outside… When they venture out it is to a car that is heated and then on to a mall that is heated…. The same but different.

…………

Once again this gay thing… I can’t get excited about another hate movement…

In my day many years ago the military weeded out gays before boot camp. The gay threat was big back then and even though I had never, to my knowledge, seen a

gay I was relieved that the military was taking care of me by keeping us apart. With the gay concern off my mind I could go about my daily job of making sure our ships remained water tight while they plowed on and on.

I still haven’t learned how to spot a gay but I’m not the only one. For the longest time a really macho gay sold Americans Marlboro cigarettes from the back of a horse…He was on Billboards everywhere; from sea to shining sea.   Can you imagine that; a gay fooling all of us into buying stupid cigarettes because we wanted to emulate a macho guy who wasn’t? So what’s all the fuss about?.

The Editor’s unabashed sales pitch

This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books published by Books Mango (Bangkok Books)… The books are titled: Up To You Volume I, II, III & IV.

(Volume IV is a cheap come on with fifteen cartoons..) All the other high dollar Volumes are endowed with fifty cartoons.

The books are available online for email download from any bookstore in the world… (That isimpressive)

Go to your favorite online bookstore (like Amazon) and type in… Al Reynolds: Up To You and see what happens… you may have to type “cartoons” or” Adult cartoons or “Sleazy cartoons…”

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News Flash…. The books are now available in paperback same day mailing….
Just select “Paperback” when you place your order.

 

Thanks for the visit…..

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Filed Under: Almost Daily Dispatch

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