Udon Thai Expats Club

Udon Thani, Thailand

Almost Daily Dispatch Issue 37

March 15, 2016 by Al Reynolds

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Into March already  2015/2558                                                                            Issue 37

All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2015
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.

 

The news is reporting that one…. Just one elephant… has gone a little lou lou in one of the national parks here…. He is attacking cars…. Well, why not… The guy is horny and because of the way elephants work he has been pushed out of the herd  so he won’t try to mate with a sister or first cousin…. Well, there aren’t that many wild elephants in this park so he has taken to trying to reproduce with cars…. So far he has attacked two cars and a pickup truck… none of the vehicles is related…. So that is a good sign….

Brunch Schedule

The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted…

The Monday breakfast venue is either the Celtic Yard (old Nubi’s)) at 10:00am or The Book House Restaurant at 10:30am.

The Good Corner or the Diary Restaurant is the place for your breakfast on Friday morning at the usual 10:00am….

This has gotten  so confusing  you would think government  intervention is the cause….. That’s a thought.  No rule against bringing your lady… The ladies hook up and run off to their own venue.

 

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Issue 37

Dear Editor,

Last night I returned home late after a few rounds of beer and a dalliance with a bar girl that turned into a rapturous two hours of most delightful play in a nearby hotel.  My wife was beside herself upon my return and I must say I was a little

surprised by the amount of information she was privy. She not only provided the name of the sweet thing I had spent the evening but quoted verbatim the conversation I had shared with my young lover from the time of my first beer through to our last wink of unbridled excitement.

This  letter  is  not  about  me  being  found  out.  I  rather  like  my  new  moniker “Butterfly man” and the exciting dressing down I received at the point of a twitching fillet knife whilst my wife stood firm at our front door wearing the  sheerest of nightgowns. Being found out serves to remind me that I still have what it takes after these years and that leaves me rather excited.

My quandary is communications. How did my wife have so much information and so soon?

Sincerely
Geoffrey Gob Smack

 

Dear Geoffrey,

Communications   is   skill   number  one with Thai Ladies as you have guessed and that is where your  concerns should rightly be. You probably suspect by now that  it  was  your  date  who  telephoned your wife with a blow by blow account of your sexual dalliance.

To think that would be spot on.

You can bet that the bar girl exaggerated your performance in an   attempt  to get  under  your wife’s skin and you can guess that you weren’t filleted at the front door because your wife was able to convincingly exaggerate your sexual practices at home when she rebutted. Now you owe her.

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Maybe next timeyou can provide your bar girl with a script she can  follow in reporting your performance. Maybe have her suggest you were a little clumsy on technique. That would give your wife some wiggle room during her rebuttal and she won’t be stressed having to lie about your performance at home. Before you know it she and the bar girl will be best of friends.

Sincerely
The Editor’s number one minion

 

 

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The Real History of Beer… or How Man Discovered Beer…
Contributed by Irvin Iconic

I think beer was invented because people didn’t take out the trash… Can you imagine living in one of those old one room hovels that you shared with your one cow, two goats and six chickens? Can you imagine what a chore it was to carry off the slop and how much slop just lay around in wooden buckets on the dirt floor those nights when it was too cold to go outside? It wasn’t until the slop fermented that beer was invented… if we had been cleaning up after ourselves none of that would have happened…

How do I know a man invented beer?

It was the man’s job to take out the trash.

My wife doesn’t like to complain so every once in a while I goad her into talking  about some of the hardships she endured as a child. She’ll talk about the one toilet shared by ten people, the trips to the stream for the family water and the issue of one bare light bulb in the house… She loves to talk about having the first TV in the  village and how her dad put the TV on the window sill so the village kids could watch it from the garden for one Satang each.  Sounds like my last flight tourist class.

Funeral Home Is Funeral Home an oxymoron?

 

The Editor’s unabashed sales pitch

This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books
published by Books Mango (Bangkok Books)… The books are titled: Up To You
Volume I, II, III & IV.

Capture1 (Volume IV is a cheap come on with fifteen cartoons..)All the other high dollar Volumes are endowed with fifty cartoons.

The books are available online for email download from any bookstore in the world… (That is impressive)

Go to your favorite online bookstore (like Amazon) and type in… Al Reynolds: Up To You and see what happens…you may have to type “cartoons” or” Adult cartoons or “Sleazy cartoons…”

News Flash…. The books are now available in paperback same day mailing…. Just select “Paperback” when you place your order.

Thanks for the visit…..

 

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Filed Under: Almost Daily Dispatch

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