Into February already 2015/2558 Issue 36
All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2015
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.
The news is reporting that one…. Just one elephant… has gone a little lou lou in one of the national parks here…. He is attacking cars…. Well, why not… The guy is horny and because of the way elephants work he has been pushed out of the herd so he won’t try to mate with a sister or first cousin…. Well, there aren’t that many wild elephants in this park so he has taken to trying to reproduce with cars…. So far he has attacked two cars and a pickup truck… none of the vehicles is related…. So that is a good sign….
The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted…
The Monday breakfast venue is either the Celtic Yard (old Nubi’s)) at 10:00am or The Book House Restaurant at 10:30am.
The Good Corner or the T-Bar Restaurant is the place for your breakfast on Friday morning at the usual 10:00am….
This has gotten so confusing you would think government intervention is the cause….. That’s a thought. No rule against bringing your lady… The ladies hook up and run off to their own venue.
Please forgive the interruption but I am a Newbie and I need guidance or perhaps a little bit of understanding. I have come to you for help and that emotional attachment everyone needs a bit of. I hope you don’t let me down.
Is there something in the air? I have been in country for no more than two weeks and have already found and married my sweetheart for life, plunked money into a house that I need less than a Dairy Queen Franchise and I am awaiting delivery of my spanking new 4×4 four door truck with all the bells and whistles… And what is worse on top of all my spending….. I don’t own anything I bought.
What has happened to me? Before I got off the airplane I was a conservative individual prone more to a life of misery whilst hording cash then spending cash in abandon and living a bit on lightened toes. Why have I gone so amuck? Is there something in the air? Can I be saved?
Freddy Franklin Fortuitous
It is not often our help is solicited by someone as astute as yourself and so down trodden at the same time. There is indeed something reported to be in the air. Only last week a disgruntled expat down to his last Baht but with a PHD in nuclear medicine published a paper in a local paper about the very gas of which you speak. His research paper is in total support of your hypothesis based on no more than your high school diploma and your silly emotional collapse. Your timing is good for we have lifted his article and are about to publish it here without his permission…We shall include your query as a lead in so you can share in the libel.
The Doctors study has determined that some sort of gaseous intoxicant percolates from some unknown source north of the Mekong River or perhaps a street drain in Nong Kai and that gas meanders south all the way into Bangkok before it mingles with the swamp gases found out by the airport. His report suggests that this new mixture of intoxicating gases rises to nose high and waifs through the terminal disguised as fresh air. Those passengers still breathing upon arrival are infected… some are affected more than others.
Editor’s Note: As far as we editors are concerned this is all fairy tale stuff and hard to swallow but a good read anyway… This is what sells papers.
His conclusion reads thus: One lung full of this intoxicant and you are made wimpy, whimsical and most pliable to the whims of the first maiden whose path you cross…. Not to mention the new tingling you feel in your pants or your total lack of concern for duel pricing. The author has titled his effort: Leaving your brain at the airport syndrome or LYBAS for short.
We have noticed this intoxicant seems to be wearing off you. Good for you. Others we know are still under the influence after years of buying farm land they have never seen in villages they know not. Thus whatever we would say to you would be no more than singing to the choir…. We are about to cut you lose but first; just one thing.
We have conferred with the author of our study to see if there is any way you can avoid libel by compensating the good doctor for use of his material… Are you up to proffering a few thousand Baht toward a new bag or two of coffee here in the office anytime soon?
It’s up to you.
To Your Health
Is being an out-patient a good thing or a bad thing…. You’re not sick enough to get room and shelter and just barely healthy enough to be let out on your own. What kind of health care is that?
Why aren’t the insides of clothes worn on the outside? As it is now all the seams and all the extra material is folded along the seams on the inside. Why not wear the heavy stuff on the outside and allow the smooth seams and smooth material from the outside to rub against your body on the inside. Why not wear your clothes inside out for greater comfort.
Just a Word
When I was a kid I thought a crematorium was a place where the cream for my apple pie was made. The first time I heard the word was in a discussion between my mom and Dad at dinner. I thought from what I overheard that one of their friends was at the crematorium and would soon arrive with fresh cream.
I have been suspicious of vocabulary ever since.
My friend bought a pair of reading glasses the other day… They are held together at the temple with a small magnet… if you let the separate lenses get close to each other the glasses snap together in a millisecond. That’s how fast magnets work.
When you’re finished you just pull the magnets apart. The lenses separate and you can allow the lenses to fall onto your chest. They’ll stay there because the two pieces of the frame are held together by a plastic tube that goes around the back of your neck…
The tube and frames only come in pink which I thought was totally unfair until I realized that pink is Thailand’s favorite color. Pink is friendly, outgoing, and happy and full of life… no wonder it is a favorite color.
In Thailand pink can be masculine as well. The other day I saw a big lad with mustache and tats wearing pink canvas topped shoes… That gave me pause… if he can wear dirty old pink lace up sneakers I can wear a pair of pink reading glasses…. Maybe I’ll get a pink shirt and celebrate with a real combo….
When will Viagra come in pink?
Collecting garbage is rather new in Thailand…. Just a few years ago everyone had to burn their own trash… No big deal, there wasn’t a lot to burn because that was back when all purchases were wrapped and carried home in banana leaves….BP: Before Plastic…
Today garbage trucks just like the ones used in America go around collecting the garbage from each house… just like America with one big difference…. Here each truck has a crew of four: a driver, two collectors and a separator who stands in among the trash in the back. His job is to separate the trash as the other collectors throw what they have collected into the pile… all plastic is separated along with glass, paper and other objects of value…. This recovered product is thrown into large bags that hang from the side of the truck. At the end of the day the crew sells what they have collected and pockets their bonus along with their pay check.
You hear what I’m saying. We have four salaried employees who exercise their entrepreneurial spirit and a company smart enough to leave them alone…
We have cleaner streets and smaller landfills; there is less litter in areas that have trash pickup. A win win.
The Editor’s unabashed sales pitch
|This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books published by Books Mango (Bangkok Books)… The books
are titled: Up To You Volume I, II, III & IV.
(Volume IV is a cheap come on with fifteen cartoons..) All the other high dollar Volumes
The books are available online for email download from any bookstore in the world… (That is impressive)
Go to your favorite online bookstore (like Amazon) and type in… Al Reynolds: Up To
News Flash…. The books are now available in paperback same day mailing….
Just select “Paperback” when you place your order.
Thanks for the visit…..