Late September 2014/2557 Issue 30
All material in this publication is highly copyrighted by Al Reynolds 2014
Highly Copyrighted Material is material I don’t even know about and beyond.
She did it. I have been released…. Today over lunch my wife made the comment that she would never have been able to learn Thai had English been her first language. There it is: my excuse. My long sought after excuse for not learning Thai.
Part of a New Era If you can parallel park you are part of past era because The new cars are here, the ones that drive and park themselves… You’ll have more hands free to grope, play the guitar or email. The new cars will do all the driving while you are relegated to being a passenger… No more designated drivers. Everybody can drink while you go from point A to point B and then some. You won’t even have to know where you are. The car will know that. Your job is to pay for the gas…. That’s shocking knowing you are already part of the past at age sixteen.
The Chef’s Table is the official site for the Club Brunch on Wednesdays….No business is conducted… Monday it is either the Book House or Nobi’s whichever suits…The Good Corner on Friday at 10:00am.
The women have been coming to these Brunches for a while… they gather their own group at our breakfast venue and then walk off to a restaurant around the corner that serves their kind of food. It is our opinion that the ladies really enjoy getting together for these brunches… Bring your lady along.
This is our lucky Day. I’m getting married this weekend but I’m so laid back and unemotional that I’m able to write for advice while I wait… and you folks should feel most honored I have written.
As a surprise I’m planning on taking my bride to my home country for a visit as soon as we marry… a wonderful honeymoon for sure. She has never been out of the Bon-nock so the trip should put her “this side of the moon” for sure…. Only one problem; she has never been on a plane in all of her sixteen years and I’m afraid keeping her locked up onboard for all those hours will drive her crazy.
I must explain that she is a bundle of sex crazed energy packaged in a petit woman. She has been climbing all over me since the moment we met and even now two weeks on she shows no sign of abating… (She is a real bundle of energy as you can see from the enclosed videos.) I’m worried that she won’t be able to keep her hands off me on that airplane for all those hours… To this end I have planned to amuse her with a window seat. She can peer out the window and be most amused taking in the sight of fluffy clouds. I shall read a good book or take in all four movies. We’ll be there soon enough.
Manners are everything to me. Do you think my plan will work?
You have caught us in a “moment”. Please give us a few minutes to recover before we make our first effort to defray our prejudices and get on point.
We are normally a most liberal society of reporters given to finding humor and frivolity hidden in cracks of human interest stories of little value. It is in our interest upon finding such stories that we toss the germ of truth about with intent to separate that from the perjured chaff and to continue editing until we have a tale worth telling… whether the truth is well represented or not.
Hark! You have out done us here from the word “Go”. You have placed on our mantle a story with few words but of such significance that we are afraid to muster the first comment least we disturb the delicate balance between absurd and obscene and the whole thing shatters before us. Perhaps we can gather a viewpoint with intent to salvage; maybe not. We proceed with reserved
We suggest your climbing and clinging bride of pubescence will cease and desist her passions shortly after the wedding so you will be free of that burden of manners before boarding for sure.… You will discover a bit later in your marriage that her motives are more mature than you realize and that your greatest worry should have been more toward the manner of your fleecing, whether in your home country or back here on her native soil. In the meantime we suggest that your young charge will sleep her way to your home country or perhaps all the way
around the world if you have tickets enough. Will you perhaps be buying your young charge a rubber pacifier so she can chew and slobber throughout or perhaps a coloring book?
What say you? Have you already suffered through salivation vicious and now suffer from a lobotomy?
The Editorial Staff
I believe our generation invented instant gratification…. During my youth this nation had cars that were able to zip us around town and to park in front of stores that had just what we wanted… All we had to do was pull our gratification off the shelf and pay for it… This was especially true with Diary Queen….
To make it faster Dairy Queen opened two windows… the window for ordering and paying and the window for pickup… I believe Diary Queen was the bench mark for all things that came after…. We were, I imagine, a happy generation especially when we got what we wanted when we wanted it…
That concept doesn’t go as far as the toilet nowadays. The toilet is where the rubberhits the road…. The toilet is the equalizer… what was at one time instant gratification at one end is now a most tedious job wrought with indignities and patience that must now be learned with the coming of autumn…. (Excuse me please; I am trying to pass autumn as a synonym)…
How far ahead of the bad guys are you.
I change my password often… Actually, I change a lot of my passwords often. I have a lot of them. One for banking and one for ordering and one for just logging on… I have a lot more but that isn’t what counts here.
I’m wondering how far ahead of the bad guys I am…. I can’t see them or I can’t feel them rummaging around in my space checking me out. Knowing where they are is important. Are they back there about to take a chunk out of me? Am I about
to be hacked? Maybe I wouldn’t have to change my password as often if I knew how close or far away they are.
I keep an updated list of my passwords which is good; I keep my password list next to my coffee, which is bad. What if my house is burglarized and they get all my passwords? They know I drink coffee…
I attended a seminar the other day… It was a seminar about awareness. It was about your bubble and my bubble… How to manage your personal space and my personal space… It’s not that I wanted to learn anything. I went for the free coffee and cake. You do that in retirement.
The host made the audience visualize their space as a real sphere around them…a translucent sphere of floating matter that was held in harmony by your thoughts and your good feely endorphins that each one of us ultimately control.
I imagined my space while the host was waving his arms around describing where our spaces begin and end… almost like we might not know where our space is…like we have to be reminded. He was giving us dimensions and then I was wondering if he wasn’t trying to horn in on my space… because suddenly my space was smaller than his space. My translucent’s started to collide. His translucent’s were mingling with my translucent’s. I looked around and noticed everyone else was fighting off an attack of their translucent’s. We stopped for coffee in the nick of time.
Not really, I’m making a lot of this up….
Awareness meeting: every Monday 1:30pm …Coffee Corner. The seminar is free. You have to buy your own snacks from the menu.
I shared my last wish with the fellows the other day. I told them I want to die first because if I wait to be the last to die there won’t be anyone left to go to my funeral…. They said they weren’t coming anyway.
The Editor’s unabashedsales pitch
|This cartoon is one of many cartoons featured in any one of four cartoon books published by Books Mango|
(Bangkok Books)… The books are titled: Up To You Volume I, II, III & IV.
(Volume IV is a cheap come on with fifteen cartoons..) All the other high dollar Volumes are endowed with fifty cartoons.
The books are available online for email download from any bookstore in the world… (That is impressive)
Go to your favorite online bookstore (like Amazon) and type in… Al Reynolds: Up To You and see what happens… you may have to
type “cartoons” or” Adult cartoons or “Sleazy cartoons…” The books are available only from email downloads…. (Nobody will know you bought one…that’s just between you and me.)
Thanks for the visit…..